Thursday, October 19, 2006

Mine.

I'm in love with a blogger, a man whose face I've never seen but whose writing ignites me. Perhaps I'm just distractedly in lust? I must still bear in mind my husband, the Dominant I've been exploring, and maybe - from time to time and if I'm lucky - Yoga, but...

I'll fall out of love, I know. At the very least, my competent brain will convince my fatuous heart and my grasping, optimistic cunt that nothing will come of this. Eventually reason will overcome passion and I won't feel that surge of damp heat between my thighs when he initiates a chat. I'll reach a point at which I no longer crave the feeling of his desirous eyes on me or the knowledge that images of me make his cock hard, and I'll photograph myself for my own sake.

Sigh. "Reason will overcome passion." That's no fun. On what plane are reason and passion able to coexist? Perhaps that's what marriage is supposed to be - a melding of emotions and personal characteristics, the two balanced, equilibrium found or created by the joining of well-met partners.

But what of growth, evolution, change in the partners? I've grown much these past eight years, but I don't know that my husband has. Did I catch up to him, or have I outgrown him? Certainly, we are in a state of disequilibrium. My passion exceeds both his reason and my own. I'm fortunate that though not precisely understanding of my passion, he is at least relatively tolerant of it; one might almost say "supportive," in truth.

And so I find myself here. I've been a quiet shadow on the edge of the blog world - especially the erotic/sex blog world - for some time now. I want to step in, to share and be shared. I'd like an outlet for my salacious writings and my muddled thoughts on marriage. Judging by the abundance of sex-oriented blogs, there's ample audience for the former; perhaps you'll stick around through my bits of the latter, as well.